Luke Evans

Fate of the Furious - 3/5

This movie revels in its status as a dumb action flick, and doesn’t disappoint in delivering fun, vehicle-based, over-the-top action. And when it does deliver even moderate emotional payoff it hits much harder because it’s unexpected.

Closest comparison: It’s the next ratchet up in The Fast And The Furious series.

Setting: Super Hero
Plot: Espionage
Tone: Action

Midway (2019) - 3/5

This is a straightforward account of one of the major battles in the Pacific Theater of World War II, starting with the attack on Pearl Harbor and ending with the fight to defend the Midway Atoll. It’s an entertaining way to learn about historical events and as such the pacing is more that of a history book than a blockbuster action movie. The acting is fine; stilted in a few places, but on par for a military movie. The battles are multifaceted and interesting, and the film does a good job of keeping the audience apprised of the current tactics and stakes.

Closest comparison: It’s like Ford v Ferrari for WWII buffs.

Setting: War
Plot: War
Tone: War

Murder Mystery (Netflix, 2019) - 3/5

This movie is much better than many of Adam Sandler’s previous attempts at relationship cringe comedy. The cringe takes a back seat to better comedy and there are plenty of other funny moments to focus on instead. The mystery is about at the level of a good TV episode and serves to moves the plot along, but eagle-eyed viewers trying to solve the case before the end will be disappointed with eleventh-hour information reveals that are crucial to the solution. Still, it’s told well and a fun time if you just go along for the ride.

Closest comparison: It’s like an Adam Sandler comedy made out of an Agatha Christie mystery.

Setting: Adventure
Plot: Mystery
Tone: Comedy

Beauty and the Beast (2017) - 2/5

The CGI in this movie is solidy in the uncanny valley, from the Beast to Mrs. Pots. The songs they added don't feel like the original songs and sound like they could have come from Andrew Lloyd Webber's cutting room floor. Most lines they kept from the orignal have intentionally been spoken differently, I guess in an attempt to make it new, but now they sound less like real people saying real things than their cartoon counterparts did. All of that would have put it at a 3/5 for me, but there's a ton of politically motivated material in this movie. It's basically Liberal Virtue Signaling: The Movie, and it hits on enough topics that it's distracting. Every person in the movie we're supposed to like is either gay or a feminist or a cross-dresser or black or in a multiracial couple, etc. Every person who is bad is white, uses guns, doesn't read books, etc. On the whole, the movie is just about as bad as the unwatchably terrible Jungle Book (2016) live action remake, and it's just a big waste of time.