One Piece (Season 1, Netflix) - 3/5

This show is a mixed bag in every regard. Sometimes the acting is great, sometimes it’s weak. Some of the episodes are faithful to the source material, some deviate wildly. Some of the setups have great payoffs, some are bungled. Some of the departures from the source material fix plot holes, some create new problems. Because its trying to adapt an enormous amount of source material it often feels rushed, but at the end of the day it’s refreshing to see an adaptation that doesn’t shy away from some of the more outlandish aspects of the source material.

Closest comparison: It’s like Firefly (Season 1) by way of Fullmetal Alchemist (2017).

Setting: Adventure
Plot: Adventure
Tone: Adventure

Troll (2022) - 4/5

This movie is a fun sci-fi adventure, but shouldn’t be seen as a follow-up to 2010’s Troll Hunter, even though the comparison will be inevitable. There’s more overt action here than in Troll Hunter, and geography-hopping and great CGI make for a fun American-style blockbuster than a clever, moody indie piece. The main detractor is a tone shift going into the third act that has some darkly tragic implications, even though nothing too sensitive is shown on-screen. Still, the movie as a whole is a much-needed injection of fun in the dour landscape of 2022 films.

Closest comparison: It’s like Trollhunter crossed with Jurassic Park and Godzilla (1999).

Setting: Adventure
Plot: Hidden World
Tone: Adventure

The Good Dinosaur - 2/5

This movie is very confused. It’s too dour and gritty to be a kids movie, and too whimsical and frivolous for adults. The tone is too lighthearted in some places where it needs to be serious, and the resolution is underwhelming given the scope of the journey. And to make things worse, in an attempt to make the subject matter kid-friendly the dinosaurs ‘drive off’ attackers instead of tearing them to pieces, which actually causes plot holes later on. It’s a mess.

Closest comparison: It’s like The Searchers by way of Rango (2011).

Setting: Western
Plot: Adventure
Tone: Tragedy

Toy Soldiers (1991) - 3/5

This movie is a stock ‘80s/’90s action flick disguised as a college comedy. For better or for worse it seems to be trying for a “Die Hard at a Boarding School” byline, though despite it being set in a boarding school everyone seems to be pulling mostly college-type shenanigans.

Content advisory: phone sex

Closest comparison: It’s like Run, Hide, Fight by way of Icebreaker (2000).

Setting: College Comedy
Plot: Hostage
Tone: Adventure

The Lost City of Z - 1/5

This is a beautiful, dreary wilderness exploration film that loses its way trying to obliquely shoehorn fake woke musings into an otherwise straightforward narrative. It’s a rainy slough that not only meanders aimlessly like a run-on sentence but ends without much of a resolution. In a more competent film this would seem audaciously presumptuous, but here it just feels like the writers forgot to write the story toward an ending. The only standout elements are the beautiful landscapes and Robert Pattinson’s acting, both of which are excellent and not enough to make the film worth watching.

Closest comparison: It’s like House of Sand and Fog by way of Apocalypse Now.

Setting: Adventure
Plot: Exploration
Tone: Drama

The Mandalorian (Season 2, Disney+) - 2/5

The second season of The Mandalorian keeps introducing great characters, moments, and setpieces like the first season, it sprinkles in painfully terrible characters, dialogue, and character choices. The action is often good, though sometimes absolutely terrible, and Amy Sedaris, Sasha Banks, Katee Sackhoff, and even occasionally Rosario Dawson are painfully grating every instant they are on screen. Boba Fett gets many outstanding moments that fans will appreciate, though he gets Worf’ed in another pointless and irritating scene. Overall it’s like nice dinner of filet mignon and lobster tail with a diarrhea gravy; the wonderful things in this show get completely ruined by the vomit-inducing parts. If you can ignore the bad and enjoy the good, or just have selective memory, then it’s worth a watch.

Closest comparison: This is the Shanghai Nights of the Star Wars saga.

Setting: Sci-Fi
Plot: Western
Tone: Adventure

Romancing the Stone - 3/5

This movie is a parody of its own genre, trying at once to make fun of and be an adventure clone in the vein of Indiana Jones. And for that it largely succeeds, though many of the jokes fell flat for me and there’s too much mundanity to really make it an enduring classic. The lead actors fail to exude the confident charisma needed for the genre, with generally average performances that should have been stellar.

Content warning: Brief female nudity

Closest comparison: It’s like Galaxy Quest by way of Indiana Jones

Setting: Exotic Adventure
Plot: Adventure Parody
Tone: Action Adventure

Alan Quartermain and the Lost City of Gold - 1/5

This is a high concept, low budget campfest that doesn’t have the wherewithal to pull it off. The plot is too weak to be interesting, the sets are almost as bad as the costumes. Even the lead actors don’t have the requisite on-screen chemistry to make it enjoyable. On paper, this movie is a bargain bin Indiana Jones, but in practice it’s a boring pablum that doesn’t even have the decency to be so bad that it’s funny.

Closest comparison: It’s like Indiana Jones made by The Asylum.

Setting: Adventure
Plot: Adventure
Tone: Adventure

Adventures of Don Juan (1948) - 3/5

This is another Errol Flynn adventure movie, and holds up about as well as you’d expect. It’s a sweeping adventure with swordplay, romance, and a comical grin. The film’s story is much more sluggish than its peers, ending up with minimal swashbuckling and rope-swinging and filling the gaps with obvious and dry intrigue. You could do a whole lot worse than this, but it pales in comparison to Robin Hood and Captain Blood.

Closest comparison: It’s like The Adventures of Robin Hood by way of Captain Blood.

Setting: Globetrotting Adventure
Plot: Romantic Adventure
Tone: Comedy Adventure

The Umbrella Academy (Netflix, Season 2) - 1/5

This season is an unmitigated disaster. The first several episodes are great and set the show up with a lot of potential; unfortunately, the rest of the episodes just get dumber and dumber. Where the first season explained why the main characters made their bad decisions, here all of the main characters make bad decisions randomly, often directly contradicting previously established character traits with no explanation. By the middle of the season everything becomes drama for drama’s sake, dumb for tension’s sake, and needlessly obtuse. By the final few episodes the show drops all pretense of internal consistency, destroying all of the beautiful potential and adding layers upon layers of insult to injury. It’s not worth watching for anyone, especially fans of the show.

Closest comparison: It’s like Heroes Season 2, but so much worse.

Setting: Super Hero
Plot: Adventure
Tone: Family Drama

Over the Garden Wall - 5/5

This is easily one of the greatest works of animation bar none, and an obvious 5/5. The music is beautifully melancholy, sometimes funny sometimes sombre in perfect step with the winding tone of the narrative. It’s firing on so many cylinders that the audience can thoroughly enjoy it at any level of analysis, from the funny jokes to the deeper themes to the meta analysis of the use of overarching structure for tension and payoff. This is an unparalleled masterpiece from start to finish and a must watch for anyone who likes a little spookiness in their stories.

Closest comparison: It’s like a cross between Nightmare Before Christmas and Adventure Time, but with an order of magnitude more depth.

Setting: Folk Tale
Plot: Wandering Adventure
Tone: Spooky Comedy

Time Trap (2017) - 3/5

This movie is fine. It’s a low budget high concept sci-fi story that’s executed pretty well. There’s less sci-fi than one might expect, and where a sci-fi-heavy movie will explain the science behind the incredible occurrences, Time Trap settles for exploration of the phenomenon without solid answers. It’s a fun rescue adventure movie that doesn’t presume to be anything more and doesn’t outstay its welcome.

Closest comparison: It’s like Parallels (2015) by way of The Cave (2005).

Setting: Exploration
Plot: Rescue
Tone: Sci-Fi Adventure

The Space Between Us (2017) - 3/5

This movie has a much better premise than it’s ultimately able to deliver on. There are several odd idiosyncrasies with the plot that that amount to a general murmur of “fine, I guess” from the audience. Asa Butterfield is the best part of the movie, as his indomitable cheerfulness outshines even the legendary Gary Oldman. It’s a fun ‘80s style teen movie, but without the cult following.

Closest comparison: It’s like The Martian by way of Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.

Setting: Astronaut
Plot: Sci-Fi Romance
Tone: Adventure Drama

Beau Geste (1939) - 4/5

This delightful film has the spirit of adventure all through. It’s the preeminent French Foreign Legion film, with a curious mystery constantly looming in the background. The whole movie has an old-timey feel, which is not bad but is an acquired taste. It’s not as epic and timeless as something like Lawrence of Arabia, though by focusing on a band of three brothers it keeps the story and stakes relatable. If you like old adventure movies, definitely check this one out.

Closest comparison: It’s like Treasure of the Sierra Madre by way of Lawrence of Arabia.

Setting: Adventure
Plot: Mystery/Tragedy
Tone: Adventure

The Mandalorian (Disney+) - 4/5

This show is the best Star Wars to come out since Return of the Jedi (1983). It starts off strong, then dips to its worst episode in episode 4, then climbs back up to finish strong in the final two episodes. Not only are the stakes small enough to care about but the job-a-week format keeps the plot moving to new and exciting places, both physically and metaphorically. The music is outstanding, not relying on any of the previously established themes, and the cast is mostly character actors that settle comfortably into a flushed-out world.

Closest comparison: It’s like a mix of Have Gun Will Travel (1957) and Lone Wolf and Cub (1970) with all the trappings of the original Star Wars trilogy.

Setting: Sci-fi
Plot: Western
Tone: Adventure

Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker - 2/5

This is the Donald Trump of movies; it immediately begins dismantling everything its predecessor did. At least a dozen of the biggest plot holes from the last movie get directly addressed, which is a noble attempt but ends up making for a choppy, uneven film. It’s crammed to the gills with about three movies worth of plot and the first third especially plays out almost like a montage. Visually it’s not as stunning as The Last Jedi and its plot meanders, only knowing where it doesn’t want to go. So there’s good news and bad news. The good news is it’s much better than Star Wars: The Last Jedi, the bad news is it’s still not very good.

Closest comparison: It’s like Dragonball Z by way of Indiana Jones.

Setting: Sci-Fi
Plot: Fantasy
Tone: Adventure

Jumanji: The Next Level (2019) - 3/5

This is a solid sequel with great locations and action setpieces in the same vein as its 2017 predecessor. Because of the nature of these films there’s an aspect of the acting that amounts to the actors doing impressions of each other, hamming it up as they go, and that is much more varied in this film. The main characters are doing impressions of multiple people throughout the runtime and it’s fun and funny to watch. The action / adventure part gets predictable and unrealistic in several places, but here it’s funny instead of irritating because of the video game premise. It’s not as good as the previous installment, but still a lot of fun.

Closest comparison: It’s like The Saint (1997) by way of Indiana Jones.

Setting: Adventure
Plot: Action Adventure
Tone: Adventure Comedy

O Brother, Where Art Thou? - 5/5

Arguably the Coen Brothers’ best film, this movie exhibits all the characteristics of the signature Coen Brothers style: humor by repetition, beautiful cinematography, a host of famous and quirk actors, and an impeccable soundtrack. Without the direct reference to the Odyssey it would probably have been seen as having too many seeming non-sequiturs, but as it is it’s perfectly matched to the ‘source’ material. It’s a hilarious movie and constantly plays coy with the idea that there may be supernatural elements in play. Immensely quotable, immediately classic, and unforgettably quirky, this movie is certainly a timeless masterpiece.

Closest Comparison: It’s what would happen if There Will Be Blood were funny and based on the Odyssey.

Setting: The Dustbowl South
Plot: Adventure
Tone: Comedy

Treasure Planet - 4/5

One of the most overlooked and underrated Disney films, Treasure Planet was ahead of its time. The blend of a computer generated world with hand drawn characters is a neat style, though some have said they don’t enjoy it, and allows for sweeping shots and beautiful world creation. It’s a great adaptation of the source material, translated into a space steampunk world. And the Goo Goo Dolls soundtrack is the perfect veneer to finish it off.

Closest comparison: Titan A.E. via Disney

Setting: Sci-fi
Plot: Adventure
Tone: Family

Bumblebee - 4/5

I had disregarded the series after the second installment, but when I saw that this was not directed by Michael Bay I decided to watch it. This is what the Transformers movies always should have been. It’s fun and heartfelt, following a smaller story but with big action scenes. Sure, there’s too much “mean is funny” and some contrived character conflict, but it doesn’t detract too much from the movie as a whole. It all comes down to Bumblebee’s relationship with Hailee Steinfeld’s character, and they did that very well.

Closest Comparison: Transformers (2007), done better.